Animals for President

In my last blog, I wrote about 4 viable non-human candidates for President of the U.S. I really believe that many animals would make a better president than most of the politicians out there. When’s the last time you heard a dog make a promise she couldn’t keep or an elephant lie about his past? Anyone see a weasel give into pressure and fold on important issues? How about an eagle that took from others to make his living? Okay, that was a bad example, but there are a few more candidates that should enter the presidential race before the votes are cast.

Bald eagle walking on ice

Eagles walk on thin ice when it comes to answering questions about their pirating habits.

Candidate #5 is a mimic octopus named Octo. Recent studies have found that mollusks like octopuses and squid are very intelligent and appear to exhibit emotional responses. Mimic ocotopuses like Octo are known for their ability to mimic other sea creatures, such as sea snakes, flounder, lionfish, and jellyfish. By the way, have you ever tried a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich? Tasty. Anyway, mimic octopuses are able to use mimicry and color changes to their advantage to scare away potential predators. Check out this video for a cool array of displays by the octopus.

What’s really amazing is that the mimic octopus can adjust its mimicry to best counter each predator. Octo would be able to evade potential assassins by changing his appearance. He could also avoid the crazy media in this fashion. The U.S. would be in good hands with his intelligence and ocean life would be well preserved under his rule. Octo could also get a lot of writing done with his 8 “arms”. The only problem is that mimic octopuses are thought to have a brief lifespan (less than a year).

The final animal candidate for president is a raven. Ravens have very large bills that can produce painful bites, which I know from experience! When I interned at the World Bird Sanctuary in Missouri, I had the opportunity to interact with a number of ravens and crows. One of the ravens bit my finger and cut it open. Most of them were well behaved, though, and one crow named Othello would stick his bill out for me to stroke. He would also tell me “Go to your perch!” These birds are very intelligent and are excellent problem-solvers, even creating tools of out of sticks! There are numerous problems in the U.S. so a raven would be well equipped to make good changes. Ravens can also be playful and will sometimes perform acrobatics with sticks in midair! Unfortunately, ravens are occasionally labeled as trash birds and will steal eggs from other birds.

Adult

© laniisoma, Santa Cruz, California, January 2009

Ravens are also able to mimic sounds and human speech.Check out the video below for a brief example of this.

Now that the candidates are set, it’s time for the voting to . . . hold on, I’m getting a report that the candidates will be engaging in a debate moderated by an African Grey Parrot and a Gorilla. Tune in to my next blog to see how the animal debate plays out and which candidate becomes the next President of the United States. In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy God’s awesome creation and appreciate the beauty of nature. I might even talk with a raven and mimic a mimic octopus.

The vultures are eagerly waiting for the election

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